I think one thing on which all parents whole heartedly agree is on the fact that being a parent is the single most challenging job they have had, one in which you simple can’t afford to fail or failure is just too painful and yet their is no single best way of doing the job. Biggest irony for me is that which its the single most important job no one really prepares you for this job, no training, no training what so ever you are put on a full time job right away.
This is exactly what me and my husband experienced when we became first time parents to our daughter (now 6 years old) and it never gets easy. People give you hope and keep extending the time line of the hardship but we all know it never gets easy. Challenges change, situations change but their is always this question in every parents mind ‘Is this the best way’ and while we have been told a number of times that no there is no best way and that each kid is different I am glad we live in an age where we do have access to some data and some studies that help you best approach the job. No don’t get me wrong and get your exceptions hight their is no custom solution but yes some guidance is available now. One such book that I came across is " How to Talk So kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will talk “ by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish.
Adele and Elaine both internationally acclaimed experts on communication between adults and children have carefully curated the book with lots of real life experiences and role plays for parents to understand and practice different strategies. They are sensitive and acknowledge the different personalities (of both kids and parents) and have tried to use different situations to present their point of view.
They strongly believe that parents who demonstrate acceptance, respect and skill in their interactions with their children succeed is raising confident, respectful, independent, responsible, and emotionally intelligent individuals who know how to resolve differences with others effectively. And it’s not only about kids listening to us it's equally important for parents to listen to their kids, which is way more difficult that we think in this world of numerous distractions and multitasking.
From personal experience I can tell you that both me and my husband have read this book twice (in 6 years) as we tend to forget and get back to old habits. And as our daughter is growing and her personality is shaping up we have had our own share of challenges, but a quick read of the book has helped us rethink and gain perspective of the situation. It has helped us better manage the ever changing situation and make the best of what we have to offer. As in the end that all we parents can do, offer the best and hope for the best.
So go grab a copy and let me know what you thing about it. And if you already have, then do share some of your learnings with our readers.
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Tulika Garg
( Singapore )